When I Was Young

From my Paper, My Say

THURSDAY JANUARY 8, 2009

FATHERS and mothers have an equal role to play in bringing up their children.

It is true that, when it comes to fathering, Asians differ from their British and American counterparts in style.

Asian fathers place the imparting of values at the centre of their child-rearing methods, and introduce their children to religion at an early age.

They also teach their children the importance of family values and being law-abiding.

This way, values are passed down through the generations.

While Asian fathers can be strict, they are also a nurturing force, preparing their children for the challenges of adulthood.

In Asia, the moral dimension of fatherhood is unmistakable.

Traditionally, Asian fathers are seen as custodians of the family, the clan and society.

In earlier times, fathers were viewed as the enforcers of morals and values.

They were seen as distant figures who wielded enormous power over their families.

Wives were expected to defer to husbands in matters of child-rearing, and a father could still have moral authority over his children even after they had become adults.

Today, it is generally agreed that men and women should no longer be regarded as “opposites” as both share equal responsibility for their children.

It is important to remember that mothers and fathers bring different strengths to their roles, which complement each other.

The effects of attachment to one’s children are wide-ranging and long-lasting.

Studies have shown that fathers who spent time with their infants and had a positive attitude were more likely to have babies who were strongly attached to them.

It also promoted the child’s well-being, perceptual abilities and ability for social interaction, even at a young age.

Surveys state that children whose fathers are involved in their education are likely to do well in school.

In addition, these children will also participate actively in extra-curricular activities.

Therefore, the importance of a father’s role in a child’s development should not be discounted.

Mr Nur Suhardi Mohamed