When I Was Young

I REFER to the letter, "Let law handle troublemakers" (my paper, April 27).

It is not uncommon to see people turning a blind eye to those who commit anti-social acts in public.

A friend was waiting to cross a road when a man appeared next to him, puffing away on his cigarette.

The smoke blew in my friend's direction. He covered his nose and mouth before taking a few steps away from the man.

The man said loudly: "Why? Cannot smoke, is it?"

This is the kind of attitude and reaction you can expect from some perpetrators of anti-social acts.

I am beginning to realise why coffee-shop owners do not take action against patrons who light up in no-smoking areas.

People usually do not step in when others break the rules because they want to avoid trouble or are afraid of being beaten up.

There are also times when reminders to fellow train commuters that eating is not allowed on board are greeted with rudeness.

Indeed, it is hard for the civic-minded to ensure that rules are not broken by others.

Singapore's citizen-journalism platform, Stomp, is proving to be a powerful tool the public can use to warn or report people caught indulging in anti-social or inconsiderate behaviour.

Mr Sebastian Tan

From myPaper, My Say – Tuesday, 05-May-2009

I SAY

Are we missing the point about graciousness?

Jeremiah Boon

I refer to "Nothing wrong with Victorians" (April 22) and "What's wrong with today's kids?" (April 20).

The explanation provided by Mr Zaveed Husref is a good one; to label a school over such a minor act is exaggerated. But it has made me look at the bigger picture.

For the past couple of years or so, ever since Singapore started its campaign towards becoming a "gracious" society, have the population's social graces actually improved or become worse?

One cannot help but notice the amount of letters to newspapers about how a citizen found the action of another "ungracious".

In addition, it has become almost a fad to capture anything "ungracious" on one's camera phone and submit it to a local citizen reporter website.

Are we missing the point here? The word "gracious" is so severely overused today that it is losing its meaning.

I believe the society Singapore is trying to head for is when an individual like Ms Trina Tan Ker Wei (the writer of the second letter) would actually help the student diners clear the trays if the fast food restaurant did not have sufficient manpower at that time to do so.

While that sounds too good to be true in the society we live in, it's also the "gracious" spark we are looking for.

I question the effectiveness of nitpicking anything out of the ordinary and showing it to the world through the media.

Not to mention that this course of action only turns society into a place where one is forced to help, or otherwise risk being ridiculed, rather than wanting to help out of goodwill and consideration.

While citizens do their part towards forging a "gracious" society by submitting pictures of ungracious acts through various media, we are also opening ourselves up to being misconstrued by the rest of the world.

From TODAY, Voices – Thursday, 30-April-2009

Letter from Zaveed Husref

I REFER to “What’s wrong with today’s kids?” (April 20) from Ms Trina Tan Ker Wei.

I am truly proud of my Victorian experience, having been fortunate enough to attend Victoria School and Victoria Junior College.

I am upset at Ms Tan’s narrow-mindedness. She insulted generations of Victorians by implying Victoria School has failed “in upholding its school mission of producing well-mannered, considerate men with good social graces” through judging the actions of a handful of Victorians.

Allow me first, to correct her understanding of Victoria’s mission — “A Victorian is ultimately a Gentleman, a Professional and a Sportsman who makes tangible contributions to his family, work, community and nation”. The inability of the students to clear their trays of food at McDonald’s is not indicative of Victoria School’s failure.

Perhaps at most it does show a lack of consideration to the crew members who had to clean up after them, but might I remind Ms Tan, however, that clearing trays are part of crew members’ jobscope. Considering the ever increasing prices of fast-food outlets that rival those of restaurants, how different is leaving a tray for a crew member to clear from that of a waiter clearing your plates at a restaurant? Furthermore, how many Singaporeans actually do clear up after they are done with their meals? Not many, I assure you.

------
From Meng Chye
I would like to tell all Victorians out there that we should welcome such criticisms. As our school song goes, “For others came, before and went, and carried to the world, Victoria’s name, and our intent, to keep her flag unfurled.”

From Joo Peng
Boys will be boys.

From Samuel
The fact, sadly and truly, is that hardly anyone clears up after themselves, and you know it.

www.todayonline.com/voices
Read more letters and comments about the issue
-----

Clearing one’s own trays is an individual choice, usually done only when it is convenient to do so, and enforcing this act and blaming the teacher seems almost an Orwellian ideal to me. I do believe these boys were engrossed in their conversations, and when it was time to leave, absent-mindedly cleared some of their food and then left as a group. This momentary lapse of consideration does not make them failures.

Rather, it shows that despite their ability to win medals around the world while consistently coming in tops in the school rankings year after year, that Victorians are nonetheless human, and should be allowed the occasional lack of perfection without being subjected to such harsh judgement.

The writer is an undergraduate at the National University of Singapore.

From TODAY, Voices – Wednesday, 22-April-2009

STATE OF OUR STUDENTS

Teacher in top boys’ school set poor example

Letter from Trina Tan Ker Wei

I WAS at the McDonald’s outlet in Marine Cove on April 14, from about 4.30pm to 5.30pm.

During that time, a group of between 10 and 20 secondary school boys in Victoria School (VS) uniform entered together with a lady who I assumed was their teacher, and occupied a long table and some “bar” seats.

From their loud cheers, I gathered the teacher was giving them a treat. The calls to confirm orders and the general rowdy chatter were a little disruptive but I was okay with it.

What got to me, though, was how the VS boys did not clear their trays when they got up to leave. Some placed their empty drink cups and wrappers on the trays, but no one bothered to empty the filled trays.

The trash bin was next to the tables they were occupying — at most three steps away. The appalling thing was seeing how the teacher did not bother to ask the boys to clear their trays — she just stood there talking to the boys.

Then they all left. The area they had occupied looked as if a tornado had swept through it. There were used napkins, burger wrappers and empty drink cups left here and there.

I sympathised with the McDonald’s crew member who came to clear the mess with a look of helpless despair on his face.

I am saddened by the behaviour of the VS boys and the inability of their teacher to use that moment to teach her students manners. Victoria School appears to have failed in upholding its school mission of producing well-mannered, considerate men with good social graces.

My mother, a proud former VS girl, was surprised at the incident and felt the boys were tarnishing the school’s name.

If the younger generation cannot master basic manners, I do not care if they are winning academic awards around the world — as far as I am concerned, they are failures.

From TODAY, Voices – 20-April-2009

Letter from Angeline Koh


I would like to express my appreciation for the Today team who put together “Happiness is ... lending a helping hand” (April 6).

All it takes is an ordinary person with an extraordinary heart to do what those people did. It also takes extraordinary eyes and hearts to find such stories. Thanks!


From TODAY, Voices – Thursday, 09-April-2009

An International student says…

Letter from Dayal Prabhhal

I am a 16-year-old in Grade 10 at an international school in Singapore and have been here for two years. I want to say that I really love Singapore. This is what happened to me on March 26.

I was heading towards my friend’s house in a taxi, as her father was driving us to school. I did not realise until I had got out of the taxi that I had left my handphone behind.

Using my friend’s phone, I called my number. On my second try, a lady answered. She gave me an address in Pasir Ris from where I could collect my phone. I got into a taxi but when I got there, I could not find her.

I tried looking for someone who could lend me their phone so I could call her. Two ladies pointed me to a public phone. When I called the lady, she gave me the address again. I had misheard her the first time.

But I had no idea where she actually was. By this time I had hardly any money left to take another taxi but I still flagged a cab.

I asked the driver the way and told him my problem. He asked me to get in and dropped me at the correct block and did not even ask me for the fare.

I found the lady who had my handphone. She had been waiting for more than 30 minutes.

In the train, finally heading to school, I called my friend and told her what had happened. I told her that I didn’t have any money left as I had spent what I had on the first taxi ride to Pasir Ris.

Right after I hung up, I saw a hand with a $10 note in it. It belonged to a middle-aged man who then tucked the money into my shirt pocket. He must have heard me talking to my friend. I was so touched by this that I was almost in tears. I kept trying to give the money back but he refused to take it.

I want to say thank you to the lady who returned my handphone, the taxi uncle and the uncle in the train. It’s been two years since I came to Singapore. After this amazing experience, I want to say I really love Singapore.


From TODAY, Voices – Thursday, 09-April-2009

Letter from Deepa Balji

I REFER to ‘Happiness is ... lending a helping hand’ on the front page of Today (April 6). This is a piece Singaporeans need.

First, we have had enough of the bad news in the financial abyss that the world is in. We are all aware of the situation, with many among us losing jobs or taking steep pay cuts.

So, an article focusing on the positives of human nature and looking at the big picture is something that put a smile on my face.

Second, as Singaporeans we get rapped for not being gracious or civil minded. But there are so many good Singaporeans with the kindest of hearts.

So, more stories with a positive spin, please. In times like these, rather than wallowing in bad news, we need stories that are uplifting and show the world that life goes on. Money doesn’t matter, experience does.

From TODAY, Voices – Wednesday, 08-April-2009