When I Was Young

From MY PAPER, My Lifestyle

TUESDAY NOVEMBER 18, 2008

ON POSTING SUGGESTIVE PHOTOS ONLINE

JILL ALPHONSO

WHEN a naked shot a girl posted of herself on social-networking site Friendster surfaced two weeks ago, it created an uproar in the online community.

The picture clearly shows the girl bending over, exposing her bottom and her left breast. On Stomp, a post about it got 45 pages of comments at press time, with some calling her a “slut” and accusing her of being “cheap”.

Others weren’t fazed.

“What’s the big issue?” asked Stomper Goodcitizen001. “She made her own choice – why bother so much?”

I’m of that mindset as well. If someone chooses to post a nude picture of themselves online, that’s their business. (The Friendster account in question, by the way, has been closed.)

What I do find disturbing is that naked profile pictures seem to be a “natural” progression from the sexy profile pictures that seem to be the norm these days.

Many profile pictures, particularly those of women, often tend towards the risque. Some show them in suggestive positions, or in clothing that leaves little to the imagination.

To most, sexy, or even nude, pictures are just another way of saying: “Hey, I’m hot.” But what they’re really saying is: “Hey, I’m up for grabs.”

Posting them online is broadcasting that message to the entire online community and, sadly, there are those who are naïve enough to not be aware of what they’re doing.

One friend of mine posted a picture of herself kneeling on a bed in a skimpy bikini. Even though she had posted it as a joke, it was reason enough for some of our friends to take her aside and tell her to consider the implications of her actions.

“We all know you’re not a slut,” they told her. “But just know that that’s the message you’re putting out.” She pulled the pictures from her account.

And posting revealing pictures may be telling of your mental state as well.

A friend of mine who lives in the United States posted pictures of herself lounging in her room while dressed in only a very transparent nightie. While beautifully shot, they verged on soft porn.

A mutual friend of ours sent me a concerned e-mail message to ask if I knew what was going on with her.

“She doesn’t seem to be in a very good place – the pictures tell the whole story,” he said. He was right – her relationship was on the fritz and her job was in jeopardy at the time. She seemed then to be misguidedly looking for some attention through sexual means.

A revealing picture in an online profile points to the fact that – let’s say it plainly – you are inviting sex.

I acknowledge that for the most part, those who post those pictures are looking for play partners, and often do so on sites like Adult FriendFinder.

So, hey, if that’s what you’re after, and you’re legal, then it’s bombs away with the nudie shots.

But what’s next – hardcore sex pictures on Facebook? After all, that seems to be the next step after nude pictures.

And here’s the thing – at the end of the day, being naked is still a private thing.

Should you post revealing shots of yourself in the very public online domain, it makes people wonder why you would want to do that and what exactly it is that you’re trying to prove.

jilla@sph.com.sg