When I Was Young

From FOCUS ON THE FAMILY

Today • Friday • June 27, 2008

By Dr James Dobson

I’m sure you’ve heard the old story about the father who said that giving his daughter to the man she loved was like giving a beautiful hand-made violin to a gorilla.

I think all dads feel that way about their little girls, and maybe for some very good reasons. Sometimes, it seems that courtesy and respect have been replaced by hostility towards women.

Pornographic material, for example, typically depicts women in degrading and dehumanising poses. And a favourite theme of R&B music is the abuse and disrespect of women. Now, predictably, this attitude is even evident at times in the young men who date our daughters.

There’s an approach to this problem that I like. A father in northern Virginia has allowed his seven-year-old daughter to start dating. But here’s the catch: He’s always the date. Every few months, he takes her out to eat or to a movie that she wants to see. And during the course of the evening, he treats her as a gentleman should.

That way, when she’s old enough to start dating other guys, she’ll know what to expect from them. I think dads should also model courtesy for their boys, by treating their mothers with respect every day in the home. This attitude won’t go unnoticed by their children.

The bottom line is that there’s a right and wrong way for a man and woman to relate to each other. The key ingredient is respect. Let’s teach our best to our boys and girls.